Hampoo

What the crap is up with shampoo makers these days. They’re making stuff like Mango-Berry Twist shampoo. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing in Mango’s or Berry’s that will beautify your locks. They also have shampoos "fortified" with egg-whites and "infused" with thyme, peppermint, and all kinds of herbs and special seasonings. The whole point of shampoo is to get rid of the nasty fried-oil misting I got at Mrs. Winner's, not replace it with the crap they put in the salad dressing at Olive Garden. WTF are they going to come up with next? "Hampoo" made with chunks of real bacon?! Are we such a society of gluttonous beasts that the only way they can get us to wash our hair is by making our shampoo appear edible? They’re even doing it with kid’s shampoos. On my daughters pink, swirly shampoo bottle there’s the big puffy word SMOOTHERS at the top and at the bottom are the slightly smaller words STRAWBERRY SWIRL. If I weren’t afraid of the Cocamidopropyl Hydroxysultaine or the Polyquaternium-10, I’d be tempted to eat it.