Frequent Fungus Program

I'm not a big fan of air travel. I used to fly a lot for my job several years back, but I prefer to drive when possible. (I mean, why let a jet airplane take little baby bites out of the ozone layer when I can burn off the entire atmosphere with my SUV, right? ) Recently, I discovered a new reason why I don't fly: Due to necessary security protocols (thanks once again to our ass-wipe jihad friends), everyone has to remove their footwear at the security checkpoint. Unlike a whiney liberal, I realize air travel is a PRIVILEGE not a RIGHT and I don't feel 'violated' or 'humiliated' just because the TSA want's to x-ray my shoes in an effort to keep my plane from being hijacked. Of course, the unfortunate side-effect of the footwear removal is that the airport now shares the same dank and musty funk as my high school locker room. A walk to the terminal was already a nose odyssey of fried foods, discount perfume, and windex. Those old familiar odors are now accentuated by ten thousand sweaty feet. I haven't smelled anything like that since I was a kid, when I used to hide from my brother in the clothes hamper. When they catch terrorists, they should force them to clean the airport floors with their tongues before shooting them. I think that's only fair. Until then, I guess it's time I invest in athlete's foot products and room deodorizer stocks.