Gobal Warming

Enough with "global warming" crap already. I'm quakin' in me boots. Gee, wasn't the big problem supposed to be the hole in the ozone layer? Or the impending next ice age?!?!? Get your friggin' story straight. Meteorologists can't get the 7 day forecast right but still insist the world is on the verge of melting like the "nacho cheese" served down at Snatch-n-Go.
I live in the mid-south. If the ice caps melt and the rising sea-level whacks L.A. and New York, what the hell do I care? I've always wanted a beach house and if these a-holes turn out to be right by chance, I should be sitting on some prime real-estate.